Let us bow our heads and relive the blessings given by Dave Greene's foot soldiers.
Monday
Honor they mustache, people. ... ...
It's a big day here for all those in the Gateway City who are currently sporting lip dusters. To much fanfare, the locally-based American Mustache Institute has released it's formal list of finalists for the 2008 "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" Award.
It's sort of like the Heisman, the Cy Young and the Nobel Peace Prize rolled into one...except the winner has a world class patch of fur on their upper lip.
We got our hands on the letter to the fans which the owner wishes you never saw... ...
With the Presidential debate in full swing, we wondered if Mr. DeWitt utilizes his own stable of screeners, proofreaders, and script writers...you know, to relate with the general public a little better. We did some investigating, and located the early draft - written by DeWitt himself - before his men marked it up like 3rd grade English teachers.
KEVIN SLATEN IS GOOD FOR RADIO BECAUSE HIS OPINIONS ARE DIFFERENT! ... ...
Opinions like these are always fun because they assume that a "different opinion" is the right one. Our writer would rather have Slaten's robust, different opinion than that of a rational human being. There are two ways to look at a "sports opinion".
1. Through its validity.
2. Through its entertainment value.
Slaten understands that second aspect and that's where people like our writer find him "entertaining". The problem with this form of entertainment is that it shows laziness and a complete lack of originality. This isn't 1993. Sports fans are more informed than ever and see through the theatrics of angry man yelling via the airwaves. It's insulting and grows tiresome after five minutes.
MLB Stickball for XBox Live has an odd depiction of St. Louis... ...
Assholes. A barn, a tractor, some sort of lofted chicken fort, and a storage bin that looks like a penis. Home sweet home. With the Gateway Arch in plain site over the horizon, there are two options here:
Honor they mustache, people. ... ... 
